I Don't Like You...And Neither Does My God

Critical Thought Tuesday


“You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.”

~ Anne Lamott 

Any Thoughts???

Haiti Journal Entry 1 or He is Risen Indeed

Disclaimer: Well this post is a bit of rambling (I'm not even sure if there is a complete thought, but I know there are at least two partial thoughts)…If you follow, great. If not check back later because I might try to tidy it up a bit (but for now I need to get back to studying...)

Wow, I am not even sure how to explain the power of Jesus’ resurrection other than amazing. Sometimes it hits me like a great big brick wall of love and grace and other times I seem to shrug it off (I think because I don’t fully comprehend it).

The process of trying to get my passport has been a nightmare. I wont go too deeply into the problems that I have been having but every time I have gone into the courthouse so far they seem to find a new reason why I cant just hand in the paperwork.  It is also frustrating because I cant help but wonder what the experience would be if I was a white male (I know people don't like to admit that racism still exists but it does especially in situations like this).  Anyways, I followed the directions online perfectly but the people at the courthouse keep telling me that this and that wont work but will not give me reasons why or how to fix them.  The most recent time they told me that they can’t accept my drivers license because it is out of state and the time before that they said that the photo paper my image was printed on wont work (The Copy Center used the paper that their (Passport people's) website had posted and the office couldn't tell me what paper to use).

Jim is convinced that the devil is trying to thwart the process and tell me that “God doesn’t want me to go.” It sure seems like God is telling me that I am not supposed to go for some reason, but I do agree with Jim that God rarely tells people not to serve. 

Today at Easter breakfast with some people from my church, I was really encouraged, and finally think that I have the information about how to fix the details of the problem. The church service was great too. Talk about the resurrection power of God when it comes to changing things around (The sermon went much deeper than a missions trip in content and make-you-think-ness). I am pretty confident that I am supposed to go and things are looking like they will work out.

Thanks you God for you son and all that he/you did throuhgh his birth, life, death and resurrection. Amen!

I think that the sermon from today (4/24) should be up soon. It was wonderful.

GRACE

Grace is Queer

This poster is hard for me because I chose to use topics that I am against and raise fairly strong emotional responses.  For example my biological father was murdered by a member of the KKK and in high school my dad's (adoptive/ real) car was bombed in our driveway.  The poster is telling the viewer that "we are called to forgive everyone," even the people that have done this things to me. 

I know that the call to action for this poster is not nearly as as easy to do as it is to say.  I know that forgiveness is a difficult everyday decision that we can actively make.

God, please help us to forgive 

those who sin against us.  

Lead us not into temptation 

but deliver us from evil...

Amen!

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Body Piercing

I went back into some of my writings from high school and found this quote on a scratch piece of paper from my creative writing class. It depicts the most amazing act of grace that anyone can imagine. Jesus' death was the ultimate example of grace.  Even though we were still sinners Jesus died for us.  We didn't need to change for Jesus (and God) to love us.  If we can understand this, we can better understand grace and how to share grace with others.

Another part of understanding grace is that we it can be easy for people to take grace too far. Grace is not salvation. Grace is also not Christianity, but rather an aspect of Christianity. We still need to remember the truth that Jesus is the "truth the way and the life." Grace does not mean that we are on the way to the father. It does explain how a perfect man would be willing to look past all of the garbage in our lives to see the beauty in all people.

See my website featuring this poster and more.

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A different Approach

**This reading is the story of a pastor, Jim Pace, at Virginia Tech. Pace decided that it was time to start taking a different approach when it comes to the issue of homosexuality. Pace was sick of the misconceptions, judgments, and ignorance that others often direct at Christians. Pace worked with a group of the leaders to come up with an idea that could help bridge the gap between the GBLTQ community and the Christian church.

The story shows the pastor beginning to understand more of the problems that the GBLTQ community faces. He learns from individuals as well as God. He gains wisdom on the topic and how to address the topic without giving up on his own beliefs.

The story begins with a lot of hate toward the Christian community and misunderstanding from both sides; the story ends with a pledge where both sides agree to stand up for one another when people are being ignorant. This makes it seem like there is hope for Christians and the gay community to get along and defend each other, even if they don’t agree.

One frustration the Christian community faces is the choice of “either denying civil rights or condoning clear sin.” This is a frustrating position to face. It is even worse when the groups are accusing you of being bigoted, ignorant, unintelligent, irrational and hateful. In my opinion, this story is a good example of how the two groups can get past their own prejudices and see people for who they really are.

I didn’t expect the stories on the Exodus website to be as positive as they are.  Most of what I have heard is from the GBLTQ community and extremely negative.  I have not looked at the whole site but many of the stories that I have read are from loving people who are just trying to do what they believe is right.  This specific story was honest and uplifting. Both groups involved ended up better than they were before. They are now better and more informed individuals and they have gained support from unexpected individuals.

**If the direct link doesn't work go to ExodusInternational.org and find "Read some real-life stories"
under "Youth."  Select "Pastors and Counselors," then select "A Differnet Approach."

Pace, Jim. “A Different Approach.” 2005. Exodus International. Nov. 1, 2010. [www.exodusinternational.org]

Dear Tony and Forgiveness Part 2

Forgiveness is not quick and easy. It sometimes is a life long journey. The journey changes but the need to forgive is always there. When someone hurts you, you will often need to forgive him or her every day for years.

My biological father left before I was born. He slept with my mom, found out she was pregnant and left. My mom was fine with that and didn’t want to deal with him anyways. He never found me. If he tried, he obviously failed. Then he was shot in Athens, GA when I was 8. I found this all out my senior year of high school after the letter was written.

As you can imagine, I had the stereotype of the deadbeat black man stuck in my head. You know the one you see in the media (music videos, Movies, literature)? I was mad at him for living, and for dying (I assumed that his death had to do with him being bad and black in a big city). I was mad at him for making me look different from everyone I knew (I now cherish these differences and love that I am not the same as everyone else).

From learning more about him, I have found that he did search and that he wasn’t a bad man. I learned that he liked sex and has kids from various mothers. However, he owned restaurants and was loved by many. The story goes that he was shot because of racism (sniped by the KKK because he would not back down and close his restaurants). It case is technically still an unsolved homicide.

Even after the letter, I still needed to forgive him. For the most part, I think that I have. But now there are several more people that I need to begin to forgive.  The process may be different and these other people may have hurt me in less serious ways; however, that does not make forgiving them any easier.

Dear Tony and Forgiveness Part 1

Dear Tony,

I used to want to meet you, just to tell you that I hate everything about you, and the way you do what you do. I wanted to tell you that you were a nothing but a stupid nigger and that was all you would ever be. I wanted to know how you thought it was right to get a woman pregnant, call her a liar and say that there was no child at all, tell her she was a whore and that if there was a child, it wasn’t yours, then curse the bastard. After doing all that you threatened my mom, your baby’s mama that if she ever did look for you, you would join the army, she would never find you and you would never pay child support. I have hated you for so long. I had no reason to care about someone who never cared about me, who hated me. I wanted to tell you I hated you because you hurt me, your tore me down. I thought I needed you more than anything but wanted to tell you that I was better off without you. You made me believe that my mom and grandma were the only ones who cared about me and that no one else ever could including my dad, my real dad the one who is there for me, and is more than just a sperm donor, like you.

Recently I have found someone that has turned everything around. This someone is Jesus. He built me back up. He helped me forgive you, which took 17 years and a lot of prayer. He did this by forgiving me for everything I have done the past few years. I still may want to meet you, but it’s not to tear you down. Telling you you’re horrible won’t make me any better. We are both only human. It doesn’t make what you did right or help me to understand. I no longer hate you. Without you I would not be here. I would not be who I am today. You have shown me that I do not need you, or any man except Jesus Christ, the one who died for me and loves me unconditionally. This is just one of the things he has helped me with over the last four years. Now I do want to meet you, not for advice, but to thank you for making me stronger, bringing me closer to God (although that was Him), and for giving me the challenge of loving someone who hates me, wanted to kill me (abortion is homicide) and the world tells me to hate.

Thank you,

Your loving daughter,

Felicia

*** This was written when I was in HS.  I think I was a sophomore or senior.  So maybe in 2004 or 2006.